This site attracts a wide variety of readers, but the majority comprise partners of serving members of the military whose other halves disappear regularly on periods of exercise, training and deployment for months at a time putting copious amounts of stress on their relationships.
If I had a pound for every search hit on this site that resulted from someone typing a variation of “I am a military partner and I can’t cope” into Google, I would be a very wealthy woman.
Particularly this site attracts men and women who live unaccompanied away from the base. Living away from camp leaves the ‘unaccompanied’ partner feeling incredibly isolated at times, and these times are when they require the most support. Sadly, they are commonly far too proud to ask for it, and the MOD too stretched to cope with even attempting to monitor them until something dreadful happens that enforces it.
What do I have to say then to my fellow military partners? Only that it is OK not to feel like you do not want to do this any more It is alright to hate your lot. It is normal to feel alone and angry. It is not wrong to feel resentful. It is natural to wonder why the hell you got into such an unnatural relationship. It is perfectly fine to enjoy your freedom when they are away yet equally to feel crowded when they are at home and paradoxically it is more than acceptable to pine for them in private and to cling like a limpet upon their return.
The one thing you are guilty of forgetting is that in the grand scheme of things you are not alone. Through writing this I have learned that there are (literally) thousands of us in this situation and often the women who outwardly seem the most together are caving in on the inside. It is most un-British to collapse in a heap and ring all your friends when you are emotionally fragile, so you bottle it up. Suck it up. Lock it all away, until you cannot take it any more and explode. Sound familiar?
I hope this site helps you in your moment of head-exploding stress, please have a nosy around, make sure you read the comments from other people in the same boat!
Fighting small battles wins the war….
If you are really struggling to cope at the moment please do feel free to use this FREE and CONFIDENTIAL helpline from SSAFA.
They DO NOT call anyone in your partner’s unit unless you EXPRESSLY ask them to. It is for service people, former service people AND their families in their times of need.
Forcesline Freephone Numbers
Our telephone support line is available Monday-Friday, including Bank Holidays, and can be accessed from anywhere in the world. The line is open from 10.30am – 7.30pm (UK local time).
- UK 0800 731 4880
- Germany 0800 1827 395
- Cyprus 800 91065
- Falkland Islands # 6111
- Rest of the world +44 (0)1980 630854